The Corporate Guide to Sheeple Farming

Proudly sponsored by NEO-LIB FARMING ENTERPRISES USA INC. (specialists in sheeple control)

sheeple 01

by Des Pensable (c) 2015

Sheeple are a species of Homo Ignoramus found in large numbers around the world. They are the basis for all good profitmaking for the modern corporate entrepreneur if carefully cultivated. While they are simple creatures with simple desires they can be problematic if not handled properly. In this guide we’ll explain how to keep them happy and under complete control so that you can maximise your profitmaking with minimal problems.

Sheeple love to believe in fantasy and adore rules. Give them lots of rules and they will be happier than pigs in mud. The early religious corporations learnt that if we instil in their young a sense of absolute obedience to rules then they will follow these blindly throughout their lives working profitably for you until they can be discarded when they get old and unproductive.

Historically, the sheeple were selectively bred by the religious companies to be mild and meek and have absolute faith in fantasy concepts. Consequently, they could be mentally enslaved and controlled by offering them illusory wealth after they died. They loved it. It was the perfect scheme to have them happily work making profit for the imaginative ruler with minimal problems.

However with industrialisation, things changed. The complex nature of the machinery meant that they needed a little knowledge and training. They needed to be able to read and write to work in the more complex work environment to reduce accidents that damaged the profit making machinery.

Of course this caused problems. A few started to think outside their station in life. They talked about people being free, and cooperating and sharing the wealth. They began organising as groups to challenge the power of the elite and their corporations. Some actually believed they were entitled to share the wealth of the land with the wealthy elite. What an outlandish idea.

Concurrently, the religious institutions began failing in their duty and many of their young were not properly conditioned with the appropriate beliefs. With a little education they began to see through the sales pitch of religion and began demanding wealth in the real world rather than in the afterlife. The religious corporations fought back with extreme punishments, torture, burning the unbelievers alive but nothing worked. This crazy idea about them having a say in their lives was like a virus and it corrupted them.

With the growing failure of religion a new belief system was needed and developed to control the sheeple where they could be allowed a basic education but remain under control of the wealthy elite and their corporations. This was called democracy. In this system they are taught from birth to follow an infinite number of rules and regulations and are given the belief that they have a say in what happens in their lives and they are free.

This is of course untrue but it is a fantasy that keeps them happy. The trick of course is that it allows the corporations, the un-elected government to make secret mutually beneficial deals with their greedy elected leaders behind closed doors. Their leaders can then create an unending supply of new rules favouring the corporations which the sheeple normally accept and mindlessly obey.

If something goes wrong the sheeple blame their leaders not the corporations or the wealthy elite. It’s not as elegant as selling them life after death but it keeps them deluded and has been found to be more profitable than religion over the longer period.

It might be imagined that after a thousand or more years of selective breeding and culling by the religious corporations that the sheeple are now thoroughly domesticated and any wildness bred out. That would be a mistake. While the bulk of the sheeple are totally malleable there are always a small percentage of wild types that call themselves activists lurking within the flock that wish to think for themselves. These are a danger to every corporation as they can cause resistance to corporate control, loss of profits and should be weeded out ruthlessly.

The desired way is to contact your local or state politician responsible for sheeple control and pay them to use their police resources to find and restrain any activists that cause a problem. In difficult cases where the activists resist, it may be necessary to hire alternative peacemakers to use more rigorous methods of persuasion.

It should be remembered that prevention is better than cure. By taking the following actions all corporate entrepreneurs can minimise their problems with errant sheeple and the occasional nuisance activist.

  1. CONTROL the LEADERS. Make sure that only the right people are elected. These people will always ensure what is good for the corporations is their first and main priority.
  2. MEDIA DIVERSIONS. Keep the sheeple occupied so that they don’t get the time to think. Sport, idiotic unreality shows, fantasy, celebrity gossip are all good fillers in between your company’s positive message that everything is wonderful. Keep them working long hours so they are too tired to think. Be sure to censor the Internet as it is a known source of the truth and that will make them unhappy and start them thinking unhealthy thoughts.
  3. PRIVATISE. Keep government small. Do not allow the governments to own or control essential services as this will give the sheeple a feeling of independence from corporate control. You should endeavour to own everything. The sheeple will then have no option but to seek all of their necessities for life from you and your peers. If they become a liability at any time you can then cut off their resources and thus easily remove them from your books.
  4. BAN UNIONS. Stop all attempts of sheeple forming trade unions or cooperative ventures as these will breed wild types that think they have some rights of their own. That’s bad for business.
  5. LIMIT EDUCATION to the absolute minimum and privatize it to make them pay steeply for any advanced learning above elementary level. Where possible control the education so that the average sheeple is locked into minimal skills so that they cannot move freely to your competitor. Remember education teaches sheeple to think and that it is bad for business.
  6. CONTROL MEDICINE. All sheeple will get sick sooner or later especially if you are involved in an industry that creates noxious by products and you don’t wish to limit profit by installing costly pollution control equipment. Privatize medical access. They should be taught that they have no right to be healthy. It’s a privilege retained for wealthy and those who do the company’s bidding.

Remember sheeple are not real people. Their only value is their potential for work and for making you a profit.


What is neoliberalism

The Invention of Capitalism

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You can find more satire , stories, poetry and politics on the Des Pensable web site.

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Des Pensable

Des is a native of Sydney where he currently lives with his partner Joanne. He has a PhD in neuroscience and worked as a biomedical scientist where he published widely in several areas of science. Since retiring, he’s been a keen writer of poetry, stories and philosophy which appear on his web, blog site and on line literary publications. He is also a performance poet that appears regularly in venues around Sydney.

2 thoughts on “The Corporate Guide to Sheeple Farming”

  1. Pingback: Vanessa Smith
  2. Well said Des. Wish there was a way to educate our ostriches, but, sadly I fear the ours and so many other nations will fall to corporate oligarchy. My children don’t seem concerned nor do other 30 & 40 year old youngsters I know. Sure hope I’m wrong but what I see is death to the Australia of yesteryear.

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